Public Restroom Blues

One way to keep 'em out.

Why must people forget to lock their stall doors in public bathrooms and then look offended when you open the door and find them half-naked? This happens to me all the time, and I don’t understand why.

Sadly, it isn’t uncommon to find a public bathroom where the stall door locks are missing or broken, but isn’t it logical to try and keep the door shut some other way? Lean over and hold it shut with your hand. (Don’t try to do it with a foot… I’ve heard that can have terrible results.)

Even if the door is too far away from the toilet to hold it shut and use the toilet at the same time, I’m convinced there are ways to keep people from opening your stall door. Singing, for example. Loudly. If you’re really desperate for privacy, you may even want to consider singing drunkenly. I don’t know about you, but if I heard drunk singing coming out of a stall, I would steer very clear. In fact, I don’t think I’d use that stall even after it became available.

If your voice (or ego) isn’t up to singing, you could take off one shoe and stick it under the door. If you saw a shoe sitting under a stall door, you’d think twice before using that stall, wouldn’t you? At least peek under to see if there was a foot that belonged to that shoe?

But my final piece of advice is: if you fail to lock your door or can’t lock your door and do nothing to secure your own privacy, don’t look at me like it’s my fault when I open your stall door.