Dryer Lint Shorts

Soooo I had to make a call to a radio station with a billing question, and the gal who answered put me on hold. Their “hold music” was a talk-show program where angry men of one political alignment were bashing men from the other political alignment. I dropped my head to my desk and wept a little, because I am seriously depressed by the negativity of all public servants (and their pundits) in this world. I don’t care who’s bashing who – none of it is okay with me.

I put the phone on speaker because I couldn’t handle having that babble directly in my ear. The gal I wanted to talk to didn’t come back and didn’t come back and didn’t come back. Finally, the angry guys on the talk show wrapped up for a commercial break and I heaved a sigh of relief.

Then the commercials came on.

I didn’t pay much attention through the first few, but then one came on for environmental responsibility. The first bit of the ad claimed that if we wanted to be more green, we could consider riding our bikes to work instead of driving. If just 1 in 5 Americans did this, we would save X-hundred-billion barrels of oil a year. (Okay, that’s nice.) Other ways to be green included something something about reducing plastic use – “see how your life could improve if you just remove plastic from it!” and then – please understand, my attention was wandering a bit – the nice advertising man suggested I could try using dryer lint to make a new pair of shorts.

My jaw dropped and I turned my full attention to the phone — just as the person I was waiting to talk to picked up the line.

Now I will never know who thought I should make new shorts out of dryer lint, and I’m seriously bummed out about this. The commercial had to be some kind of a spoof, right? Poking fun at heavy-duty environmentalists? I tried googling it, and found out that there’s a very nice man who has a really nice mustache and all sorts of ideas about how to recycle dryer lint:


But nothing about making shorts.

I’m considering calling back and asking to be put on hold again. Listening to those lint-heads flambe’ each other might just be worth getting to hear this again.


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