I hate wind.

Charles Ephraim - Wind in the Night

I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it.

I had to get that out of my system.

It is 6:15am. For those of you who know me, you know that is not a time of day that I choose to be conscious for. I’ve been up since 3:00, when the entire wrath of shifting pressure zones descended upon my neighborhood.

As I’ve mentioned previously, I have a really irrational fear of the wind. It’s twenty times worse in my new house because it’s an old house, and everything rattles. There’s the windows for starters. Boy, do they rattle. At 3:30 I got out of bed and went around the house closing storm windows to try and make it better. It did, a little. But then there’s other stuff that rattles, and I don’t even know what it is. We don’t have shutters, though I spend a lot of time imagining that we must as things bang around outside. And then there’s the mysterious thumping upstairs… (I’ve decided it must be branches falling off the massive, terrifying cottonwood tree that looms over our roof. There’s a whole ‘nother thing to worry about.)

After I got the windows all tightened up, I made a very good effort at going back to sleep. Every time I’d start to doze off, WHAM! The front of the house would get smacked with a proper clap of wind. (You thought only thunder clapped? You were wrong.) Then I got this idea into my head that the new storm window I’d installed in the attic earlier in the day was flapping from its hinges because I didn’t take the time to install hooks to keep it locked. Unfortunately, there are guests staying in the attic, so I couldn’t go up there to check. But I also couldn’t get the idea out of my head that this glass window was flapping around by two very measly hinges, so I got out of bed, went outside, and peered up at my attic window from the sidewalk.

It was just fine. Of course.

I’m not strictly rational when I’m half-asleep.

Also, it’s amazing that I didn’t blow away.

So I went back to bed and tried again. All the worrying about the wind had given me a serious crick in the neck which didn’t help. Again, I’d get so close to drifting off then WHOOSHBAM!

It continues: something started smacking around outside. For most of the spring, we had a trellis on the side of the porch that was loose on one side, and it would bang when the wind blew. Dustin screwed it in over the summer, but I became convinced that it must be loose again. If it was, I managed to rationalize that there was nothing I could do about it in the middle of the night, so I needed to just stay in bed and go to sleep. An hour later, however, I had convinced myself that the smacking was actually the storm door which I probably hadn’t pulled all the way shut the first time. No no no, that couldn’t be it – it would make much more noise.

But I couldn’t stop freaking out about it, so here I am, on the couch, with a mug of warm milk and the freaking dawn is breaking. (The storm door and trellis were both secure. I checked.) I fell down the stairs on my way to the kitchen and my toe hurts too, which really adds to the awesome of this morning.

I’m going to be useless today.

(In other news, I also found this photo while searching for the image above. I think it’s how I feel my house should look after a night like this.)


3 thoughts on “I hate wind.

  1. Last I checked, our weather said “high winds may be causing power outages. Way too windy for walking with the baby.. and she is teething.

  2. The neighbor’s house is doing some of the banging. Since she moved out, their garage door doesn’t have a padlock anymore. I came outside a couple mornings ago to find the doors wide open, flapping in the breeze.

  3. Yes, the wind. It’s been a while since these big winds have hit us; I almost forgot that we live where it’s REALLY windy. Alas. When I get home, I know my sunflowers are going to be all over the place… Hey and I do know that clap sound of wind too. It’s always startling!

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