The “Arrangement”

hitman

This post is for my brother, my only devoted fan. Well, devoted enough to accuse me of never updating. That’s worth something, right?

I got a call this afternoon at the office. It went like this.

ME: Bob’s Blue Boxes, this is Laura.
LADY: Hello this is Fiona Maple.* (expectant pause)
ME: Hello Fiona, how can I help you?
LADY: (a little confused stammering) You, uhm, had an arrangement for me?

Pause conversation.

At this point, silly things started popping into my head. An “arrangement”? of what sort? The first thing I thought of was straight out of 19th century English lit. But no… I have not been advertising for a nanny. Not that sort of arrangement, then.

Ooooh, she doesn’t want me to kill someone for her, does she? What did she say her name was? I should write it down for when the police come asking…

Resume phone conversation.

ME: Uhhhh…
LADY: Oh, um. Let me look at my caller ID. Do I have the wrong number? I was sure… You are Black Hills Floral, right?
ME: Oh! No… I’m sorry. You do have the wrong number. No flowers here.

Nor children who need minding nor hitmen for hire. Try again next time.

*Name changed at least half because I can’t remember her actual name.

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