The Mile High Club is Closed

I flew to Denver last weekend to help my folks get ready for a move to Washington D.C. Flights from Rapid City to Denver are often on planes that are less big than, say, a breadbox. You can feel all the parts moving together and you’re happy to be assigned to the side of the aisle with only one seat because then you’re not stuck playing Knee Hockey with the extra-long-legged guy in the seat next to you.

Anyway. This particular flight was just fine. I somehow got seated in the front row, which meant unlimited leg room. It also meant no tray, but what can you do?

The most interesting thing about this flight was the lighted sign that kept flashing on and off right in front of my seat:

Intriguing airplane signage.

Before I explain what I thought about this sign, I should point out that this flight left the airport at 6:00am, and I had been awake since 4:30. Also, the flight was one of the more turbulent flights I’ve ever been on. The attendant spent a fair portion of it seated and strapped in.

So on this sign we have a man and a sink and a mirror and a woman. The sign clearly has something to do with men and women in a bathroom, right? Since not one single passenger ever got out of his or her seat, no one was using the bathroom and so the sign was apparently turning on and off at random. It was, therefore, not a “bathroom occupied” sign.

The remaining (and obvious) conclusion was that it must be a Mile High Club sign. “Stay in your seats, you would-be extreme lovers. Sex in an airplane bathroom is dangerous under normal circumstances, but with all this bouncing around, we’re pretty sure you’d lose a tooth or break a shin and we don’t want to be held liable.”

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