Posted in Life, Signs, tagged Black Hills, blizzard, mistakes, South Dakota, winter on December 26, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
This is a game of “What’s Wrong With This Picture?” Do you see it? Even if you do not currently live or reside in the Black Hills, you can probably figure it out.
No, it isn’t the second Latest News headline inserted to correct a typo, which typo was then not removed, though that’s also pretty funny. Here, let me highlight it for you:
Right. Now here, to illustrate what 115 degrees and foggy looks like, is a picture out my front window:
Posted in Random, Signs, tagged greenpeace, mount rushmore, mt. rushmore on July 8, 2009 | 1 Comment »
From Dustin’s office came the call: “Laura? Your dad’s day is about to be ruined.”
I immediately started worrying about more deaths in some national park somewhere, or a foreign park administrator challenging my dad to a drink-off. It was nothing so heinous as either of these things.
Greenpeace had managed to climb to the top of Mt. Rushmore and hang a banner stating “America honors leaders, not politicians. Stop global warming.” They were streaming live video to their site, and I got to watch the last ten minutes or so as the banner flapped in the breeze and was finally cut down by park rangers.
Exciting!
From the voice-over on the video I learned that they had put up a couple barricades to try and keep the authorities at bay as long as possible, including a bike-lock around a gate and a human chain somewhere along the way. Sounds like they succeeded for about an hour, which is pretty impressive.
The Black Hills fan page over on Facebook got wind of it early and put up a link to the video stream which started generating a lot of exciting debate. There are folks raging agains Greenpeace for daring to “deface” a nationa monument, then other people smacking on them for honoring a monument that defaces the Black Hills, other people railing about misguided patriotism, and a few lonely souls who think Greenpeace is doing a wonderful thing. It’s really a pretty educational and entertaining.
Personally? I couldn’t care less about either side of the debate, but I can’t help but be impressed with Greenpeace’s organizational skills. It’s no small feat to get (illegally, I might add) to the top of Mt. Rushmore with a banner that big, which is just big enough, manage to somehow strap it in place, keep the authorities away for an hour, and get the whole thing on live video. Certainly many of the participants will be arrested, as they should for breaking various laws, but I imagine Greenpeace expects that, and that their volunteers go into it with their eyes open and willing to make that sacrifice for the public awareness they mean to generate. As long as they’re willing to accept those consequences of their actions, I say good for them! No lasting harm was done to the monument, and they are certainly getting their (current) fifteen minutes of fame.
Posted in Signs, tagged alaska, funny signs, maine, moose on July 8, 2009 | 4 Comments »
This photo was taken by my friend Rachel up in Alaska, and I’d like to dedicate it to my mother in law, who is currently stalking wild mooses with her camera up in Maine.
If a moose charges or chases you, hide behind something solid such as a tree. It is okay to run from a moose if you have a head start.
My friend Corey replies: “But the moose always cheats!”
Posted in Random, Signs on February 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Though I don’t celebrate most holidays, I can appreciate ironies, excesses, sillinesses and – in this case – blatant honesty as well as anyone else. Now tell me. If this isn’t the most honest valentine you’ve ever seen, what is?
This was discovered by my friend Teri, floaing somewhere on the internet. To help out the searchbots, it says: “I want to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day but unless this card is going to finally get you naked, I have to admit my heart’s not really in it.”
Posted in Random, Signs, Travel, tagged clam juice, funny signs, san francisco, satan, Signs, thongs on November 6, 2008 | 1 Comment »
It has been very subtly brought to my attention that I’ve been slacking off on updating my Sign Blog. That may be true… I’ve been slacking off on a lot of things lately. For now, I’m not going to try to keep up with the sign blog, but I do find so many good signs, I can’t not post them. So I’ll just put them here. Stay tuned.
Here’s three good ones from recently. Dedicated to Tommy.
“NO THONGS Except on Feet”
This gem comes from Pier 39 in San Francisco. I definitely appreciate the regulation, especially since I think the picture on their sign shows a little more coverage than a tiny thong in a fat world actually provides.
“SATAN 08: the lesser of three evils”
Hahahaha!! I think this is really funny. It was stuck to a garbage can, also in San Francisco. Disclaimer: this is not my personal opinion.
One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn’t belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?
And finally, what might be the funniest sign in the history of ever:
Do you get it?? Hold on, let me give you a close up:
“Street Cleaning: All Vehicles Off Street, Or Will Be Towed.”
Seriously dude. Someone scrubbed that street WAY too hard.
Posted in Random, Signs, tagged funny, new blog, Signs on May 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I have started a new blog. 
I have a deep love of things that are silly – when they’re meant to be, but especially when they aren’t. One of the best places to find such silliness is along the sides of the road. People put the most incredible things on billboards!
Once I started thinking about it, I realized that signs are great in so many different ways. They announce, advertise, remind, plead, and inform. Working for an advertising company, I know how difficult it can be to come up with something really clever, and how valuable. More often than not, though, it’s the people who aren’t trying to be witty who do the best job.
So I’ve decided to celebrate signs. I’ve created a blog that will be solely dedicated to posting the good ones that I find, either personally or elsewhere online. There are a few sites I’ve found that apparently started with this goal in mind, but most seem to have gone defunct. Eventually, I hope to have other people send in their signs as well, and I’ll post ‘em all.
To start, I’ll put up one sign a day. So go check it out, and come back again tomorrow! Wheee!
Posted in Random, Signs, tagged airplanes, flying, mile high club, Signs on February 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I flew to Denver last weekend to help my folks get ready for a move to Washington D.C. Flights from Rapid City to Denver are often on planes that are less big than, say, a breadbox. You can feel all the parts moving together and you’re happy to be assigned to the side of the aisle with only one seat because then you’re not stuck playing Knee Hockey with the extra-long-legged guy in the seat next to you.
Anyway. This particular flight was just fine. I somehow got seated in the front row, which meant unlimited leg room. It also meant no tray, but what can you do?
The most interesting thing about this flight was the lighted sign that kept flashing on and off right in front of my seat:
Before I explain what I thought about this sign, I should point out that this flight left the airport at 6:00am, and I had been awake since 4:30. Also, the flight was one of the more turbulent flights I’ve ever been on. The attendant spent a fair portion of it seated and strapped in.
So on this sign we have a man and a sink and a mirror and a woman. The sign clearly has something to do with men and women in a bathroom, right? Since not one single passenger ever got out of his or her seat, no one was using the bathroom and so the sign was apparently turning on and off at random. It was, therefore, not a “bathroom occupied” sign.
The remaining (and obvious) conclusion was that it must be a Mile High Club sign. “Stay in your seats, you would-be extreme lovers. Sex in an airplane bathroom is dangerous under normal circumstances, but with all this bouncing around, we’re pretty sure you’d lose a tooth or break a shin and we don’t want to be held liable.”
Posted in Random, Signs, tagged funny ads, jokes, wedding announcements, weddings on January 11, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
My grandmother-in-law is one of the funniest people I know. She drinks too much, smokes too much, parties too much, and fully intends to go out in a fiery ball of flames long before any doctors or nursing homes have their way with her. She’s also excellent at sharing the things that amuse her with other people.
Today, a letter arrived from her in the mail containing a couple entertaining newspaper clippings. The first was similar to many forwards you might get in your email – answers that kids goof up on a Bible test that make for a good chuckle: “The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.” Yuck yuck.
But the second, pictured above, was so good I had to share.
It came out of the Sonoran News in Cave Creek, Arizona. It was in one of the papers awaiting my grandmother-in-law when she returned after visiting us for the holidays, so she wasn’t sure of the date, but it was some time in December.
We have a running office debate over whether this ad was placed by a bitter Jewish mother* or a best man out for a good laugh. I’m terribly sorry, in either case, that specifics on the time and date of the wedding weren’t provided. If I lived in Arizona, I’d show up just to find out.
* suggested by a coworker who has a bitter Jewish mother, so don’t yell at me!
Posted in Random, Signs, tagged Cat, garbage, garbage can, guilt, kitty, not amused on January 8, 2008 | 4 Comments »
So I have this cat. And she has personality, as cats are wont to have. My cat likes garbage cans, especially ones lined with plastic bags. I think it must be a combination of wonderful things: a box to crawl into and something crinkly to start a fight with. We have a garbage can in our desk room (I’d call it a study, but no one ever studies in there). Most of the time, the door to that room is closed, but when we open it up, she darts right in and goes for the garbage can. If there’s anything in it, she promptly knocks it over and pulls everything out. Then she crawls inside, turns around, and stares at you.
No one else understood this until a certain co-worker caught her in the act at the office. He sent me an email with the above and below images and a note that said the following:
It has come to my attention that I get in trouble for things that I never knew anyone saw. However through my sources I have found the spy in the office. PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT with said person. I have attached the following photos of the person for your eyes only.
Oops. And here I go sharing with everyone. Well, some criminals really need to be known. Watch your back.
Posted in Random, Signs, Writing, tagged dr. grordbort, gregory broadmore, rayguns, testimonial, weta on November 18, 2007 | 1 Comment »
What a week!
This morning, I got an email that was titled “On Behalf of Mister Gregory Broadmore.” Gmail gives me a peek at the first line of the email too, which read, “Dear Stella Lexiphon, We are pleased to announce your marvelous tes”
Just before I threw it to the spam-eating voles, something made me decide to open it. I think I was wondering how a spammer who was incompetent enough to call me “Stella” had gotten past the filters. Good thing I did! It wasn’t spam at all. It was a notice that something I submitted to a site had been selected for use.
Before I show you what, you have to check out Dr. Grordbort’s main site, because it is so very cool. By all means, turn up your volume and watch the promotional transmission. The rest of this post will make much more sense if you do, and it’s funny to boot.
After discovering Dr. Grordbort’s site (doing research at work, believe it or not), I became enamored and spent more time than was strictly necessary perusing the pages. Finally, I felt myself called to submit a testimonial. At the point I did this (about four months ago), no female characters had provided a testimonial, and I found this distressing. Surely the women of the universe also like to use rayguns!
And so I, Stella Lexiphon, submitted a testimonial. When I didn’t hear back, I assumed I had missed the boat, but lo! Today I received notice that my testimonial had been posted.
After you’ve watched the promotional transmission, check out my testimonial. I am awfully proud of myself. Hehe. The other testimonials are also pretty fun to read.
And yes. I meant to say that.
Stella Lexiphon, lady of high society and well-rounded personality has written us this ample testimonial. Its narrative is fully-fleshed and packed in tightly while its emotional core had us bursting out into tears. All in all, its jostling and bouncy word play makes it one of the best we’ve ever oggled at:
“My husband, the intergalactic bum, went off to fight the Moon Men and protect the helpless, scantily-clad minxes of the universe. He completely forgot that he had his own perfectly good scantily-clad minx right here. It wasn’t long before new admirers started showing up on my doorstep. They seemed to exhibit very little confidence that Milton would return from his escapades, dear oaf that he was. Is. So what’s an abandoned wife to do? Well, I saw your ad and less than a lunar week later, I had my very own Victorious Mongoose. It turns out said Victorious Mongoose is not as concealable as you think (though Sally next door says it’s my bustier’s fault for being too tight). That is, however, the only fault I can find with your marvelous machine. I only meant to scare unwanted suitors with it, but when it accidentally went off that first time, well… Let’s just say the satisfaction of seeing someone you despise melt into his constituent elements is worth the rumors that started to spread. How was I to know that last one was the Prime Skitterbah of Neptune? He should’ve learned to keep his buggy eyes to himself. Thanks to your Victorious Mongoose, this scantily-clad minx won’t ever fear rustling bushes again.”
(Posted here with permission.)
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